feeling guilty about cremation

For the most part, pastors are generous and loving during death, and this pastor was no different. Thank you all for your comments, they really are very much appreciated. Urn. The linked version has been posted with the journals permission.). Once you find a safe container for your grief and a private time and place to feel your feelings, you'll be able to come back to your precious little one and rejoice at the sight of her without feeling guilty, and you can do it over and over again. Those of us who arent Jewish have a lot to learn from Jewish burial practices, specifically as it relates to home funerals and green burials, but most of us, like myself, simply dont believe that burning a body is violating G-ds creation. Even though guilt can cause uncomfortable feelings, it also provides certainty. StayingPositiveApril 14, 2015 in Loss of a Parent (Mother or Father). Just dont expect the guilt to leave overnight or for healing to occur quickly. Memory plays into this by creating patterns of thinking. For the first time in American history, a majority of Americans (50.2 percent) have chosen cremation rather than burial (48.5 percent) after their death. She would do anything for anyone and give the shirt off her back for the next. Once the body is cremated, autopsied or buried these people usually get the idea that there is no going back and they begin to move on, cross over, look for the light, or try to remain earthbound if thats important to them (as is often the case with people who have unfinished urgent business). I wish every day that she could come back to me. I just hope there's an afterlife of some sorts! What Is Holistic Rehab Therapy for Women? Another interesting aspect of the grieving process is whats known as survivors guilt. 2. DH and I are doing our wills and I've said I just want direct cremation with 500 put aside for drinks and sandwiches at the pub. However, if you think of the body as just an empty vessel after death, which many people do, the idea of cremation can be very appealing. , Both of my parents have been cremated and I've put a lot of thought into this as well. When you die, the astral cord that has connected and tethered you to your body during your life gets severed. My mom was cremated and I'm so glad because She didn't want to be look at or gawked at. For many, its simply a matter of not taking up space after passing on. This might seem odd, but its actually very common. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. If we guilt and shame cremation, I dont believe that helps us, nor does it help to create community. People who choose cremation arent attempting to disrespect God, nor are they denying the resurrection, nor do they believe that our bodies are toys that we can abuse. She also didn't look like her living self because she was so sick. Funerals are changing. But how does pet cremation works? History Suggests It Isnt. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0.You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. I'm completely aware of the process etc but my brain just doesn't seem to want to believe that it could be him. Cremation casket. woman, and didn't want an open casket ceremony. Everyone person on earth has experienced guilt at one time or another. This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. Powered by WordPress and Mystique theme by digitalnature | RSS Feeds, Working at the Crossroads of Life and Death, Lets Stop Throwing the Dead Out with the Trash, 10 Things That Keep Funeral Directors Up at Night. Trapped in your now lifeless shell? I believe in Heaven and God, so I feel that if you're cremated, how the heck do you get a resurrection body with your body crumbled to little gray pieces? Although I have seen them. That seems sensible to me. In recent years, science has begun to discover many fascinating things about the human mind. In a private cremation, only one animal's body is in the oven. My mom passed away 11 years ago.. since I was only 9 years old I wasn't able to fight to get her ashes. Cremation typically skips burial altogether, and some even request having a tree planted in their honor. Some authors make the distinction between guilt and regret, noting that guilt is the feeling we have when our conscience is violated, while regret is the feeling of sadness that And they took their bonesand buried them underthe tamarisk tree in Jabesh andfasted seven days. I feelI dont know, but I feelthat you opted for cremation in some kind of unfathomable solidarity with those of us whose bodies were cremated in Auschwitz. It is very rare that a person is cremated the same day that they are picked up from a hospital and Thus the brain clings to pain rather than choosing feelings of joy. This pastor, though, didnt find a sympathizer in me. But, if I had kept going, and I would have shared my views on God, I would have mentioned that my belief is that God values everything in life, but God seems to specifically value love and community that death creates community, whether it be an embalmed body or a cremated body. The pastor didnt appreciate my wit. As Timothy George says, While the weight of Christian tradition clearly favors burial, the Bible nowhere explicitly condemns cremation., However, there is a divide about whether it is prudent and acceptable for Christians to choose cremation. 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Life is such a sad thing that we all have to go through this.. My Dad was such a great man and would be so so sad to know he's left me. The heart of this prohibition against cremation is that humans are created in the image of G-d and so we shouldnt intentionally harm the body, dead or alive. Memory is another aspect of the human experience where the mind is involved in the grieving process. I live in a different state so I wanted to see him one last time. Only if they arent actually dead. David Jones, professor of Christian ethics at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, outlines three questions we should consider: 1. How does one come to grips with this grim reality? But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. Why not simply toss the corpses of our loved ones into the local waste landfill? EVER. Weve shifted from What if they have fun without me? to What If I commit now and regret it later?, 9 Things You Should Know About Events and Discoveries in 2022, The FAQs: How an AI Chatbot May Affect Gospel-Centered Ministry, The FAQs: Supreme Court Hears Oral Arguments in Religious Speech Case, Simple Solution to Same-Sex Civil Marriage, 3 Steps Christian Institutions Take from Orthodoxy to Sexual Immorality. I agree that the whole process was weird. The fragments are then placed in a special processor that pulverizes the bone to a fine powder. Cremation is safe for your soul. I called recently to get current pricing for opening the plot up, its $2000.00. When you feel youve done something wrong, its hard to find peace until youve made things right again. Or perhaps you only perceive that you wronged the individual. No state law requires either embalming or the use of a casket for burial, so a body can be directly interred in the earth, in a shroud, or in a vault without a casket. Why Feeling Guilty Is Normal When Experiencing Grief The Reasons For Guilt. As Rodney J. Decker says, It was probably considered more honorable to cremate the royal retinue than attempt to haul the mutilated, stinking bodies elsewhere for the usual Jewish burial ceremonies.. Keep reading for insight into coping with guilt when healing from a sudden loss. All of your consciousness is in your spirit, your soul, your ghost-like form. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. How are you feeling about the cremation? Powered by Invision Community. Cremation is a strange concept - I agree, little grey pieces sums it up well. Death and loss are uncomfortable. See, cremation is much cheaper than embalming and cuts into the funeral homes bottom line and therefore the funeral directors pocket; couple that ulterior motive with the folk belief that cremation destroys Gods creation and you have a recipe for an anti-cremation funeral director. I honestly didnt want to ridicule his beliefs and I didnt want to say something that would jeopardize our friendship. Thats why the mind begins searching for answers, because it hates the chaos that results from something it cant explain. (, Mom passed away unexpectedly, Dad after illness, October 14th, 2014 - mom, April 26, 2016 - dad, is one of the oldest, if not the oldest, grief support community on the internet. When it comes to loss, you can experience feelings of guilt for a number of different reasons. My dad and I had thought about it long and hard. Before that, cremation was a seen an abandonment of the hope of resurrection, and, like Judaism and Orthodoxy, abuse of the creation of God. I stopped there because I didnt want to sound like I was lecturing him. If youve recently lost a loved one, cremation urns are a way to keep their memory alive. Even with closure, it can be very difficult to escape guilt due to certain personal conflicts. Was she under the mistaken belief that when you die you just sit around in your body, conscious and bored in your coffin? Once you overcome the initial procedure of lots of fire, what Its weird that the body no longer exists. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. 4. It is the soul that goes to our Father in Heaven. 1:23), but the body that remains still belongs tosomeone,someone we love, someone who will reclaim it one day. 3. Keep in mind that there are stages of grief, and guilt is one of them. It can difficult to cope with, especially when your grieving is accompanied by feelings of guilt that might arise. These fragments are removed from the cremation chamber and placed on a table where the crematory operator removes, by hand or with a magnet,all metal debris such as screws, nails, surgical pins or titanium limbs/joints. I hate the thought of her body being burnt. But are funerals simply the way in which we dispose of remains? This refers to the experience of feeling guilty over surviving when someone else has died. If it were my choice, I wouldn't have had her cremated ( I had no say since I'm only 14; and it really isn't my decision) since I hate the fact that her body isn't with us at all. 12:7), MacArthur adds, So cremation isn't a strange or wrong practiceit merely accelerates the natural process of oxidation.. mine is a lovely sterling cross I wear around my neck. 2. Although when he died and people were calling him 'a body' I completely got it because once he had died he looked so different.. Community, love, and shared grief is what makes a good death, not your method of disposition. After the pastor and I sat in silence for a couple minutes, the Pastor piped back up:, I feel so strongly about this topic that Ive preached a sermon series on it.. He was dead serious. 2- . My dad said he wants to have everything done for him exactly like it was for my mom. Luckily, our time for feeling pain in our current bodies is over when we die. The deseased bodies feel no pain. The mind is gone and the spirit has As Professor Stephen Prothero put it, whether to bury or to burn is no trivial matter. And that God doesnt want us to mortgage the house for a full burial and that God certainly doesnt want us to feel guilty when choosing cremation. It was so hard for me to believe it was happening, but I never want to have to walk a slow dirge out of a church behind a casket. The remaining bone particles are commonly referred to as cremains or ashes. Its important to At the moment, her ashes sit in a matching set of urns in our dining room. Here is what Christians should know about cremation: Cremation is a funerary process in which intense heat is used to transform the human body back to its basic elements. 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| (313) , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 21 , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 1-(21) . Which Method Best Demonstrates Love of God and Love of Neighbor? After all, where do thoughts come from? Founded in 1997, it now supports a quarter million people annually from over 100 countries, from all walks of life. Today marks 4 weeks since he passed. Affiliate disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, we may earn commissions from qualifying purchases on Amazon.com. A direct burial service includes a modest wood (or cardboard) container, no embalming, and immediate burial in a cemetery within 24 hours. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use. To a certain extent, they can make a strong case for their contention. I've gone to the funeral directors to see them; I did this a few months ago, but I just don't want them, I guess because it really confirms that he's gone. Some feel that its disrespectful or that it deprives the family of the sense of closure that comes from viewing the body in the casket. I as per my usual self attempted to lighten the somber mood with a witty joke by saying that all the bodies I burn are dead, unlike the bodies of the heretics that the Church burned back in the day. I can't bring myself to collect his ashes. Other biblical events make clear there is no soul sleep for believers but rather a conscious, immediate presence with God after death: - See more at: http://www.insight.org/resources/articles/death/awake-beyond-the-grave-what.html?l=death#sthash.BiEnXTia.dpuf. Feelings of anger and hatred towards the mother energy may manifest. And yet feeling guilty is normal when experiencing grief. My oldest sister who happens to live in a different state received them and she finally gave them up to me. Before choosing cremation because of cost, Christians should consider more affordable burial options. Is cremation a sin, or is it an ethical option for Christians? Question: Are there any consequences to the spirit if the body is cremated? I also found the service so much better. , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976- 100100 6 , | 0096176817976 , | 0096176817976 , 0096176817976| 10 , 0096176817976| , | 0096176817976 , 0096176817976| 100 6 , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 6 , 0096176817976| 10 , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , | 0096176817976 , | 0096176817976 1- ( }, | 0096176817976 : , ( )| 0096176817976 : 1)-, 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 100 2 , 0096176817976| 100 2 , 0096176817976| : , 0096176817976| : . It gives the living time to adjust, and it gives the dead time to let go. Ive always thought keeping remains After all, grief is unavoidable, so the more youre able to understand it, the easier it will be when coping with these difficult emotions. Founded in 1997, it now supports a quarter million people annually from over 100 countries, from all walks of life. Many of these memories will be accurate, while many others may not be accurate at all. And yet its crucial to remember thatfeeling guilty is normal when experiencing grief. This article takes a look at the connection between grief and guilt. Eastern Orthodoxy believes that cremation is wrong for the same reason Jewish law forbids it. This misperception is often amplified by the grief caused by loss. The focus is to provide grief support via community interaction.. Of course God can resurrect a cremated Christian. Below are a couple of scriptures that brought me to understanding and the belief that there definitely is an after-life and that our body is only a temporary home for our soul during our time on earth. Have you come to terms with it yet? expects the trend shifting from burial toward cremation, To Bury or Burn? A traditional funeral can often cost around $8,000 to$10,000, while the average cost of cremation averages only $1,500 to$2,500. I can understand why some of you may feel uneasy at the thought of cremation: one day, that person is by your side.and then a few days later, nothing but dust and ashes.. Loss generates the ultimate question for the mind to grapple with: Why did this happen, and why do I feel so much pain? And it will seek a solution to the question, even when the solution makes no logical sense. Rather, for believers, funerals ought to be Christ-centered events, testifying throughout to the message and hope of the gospel. Understanding Heat Pumps When it Comes to Your Home Improvements, Your Guide to the Mental Health Benefits of Clean Home Environments. If you die unexpectedly, like from an accident or murder, you will probably hang around your body for a while; anywhere from 20 minutes to several days. I like feeling like she is always with me. My Dad passed away nearly 6 months ago .. Grief and The Burden of Guilt. Those private beliefsbecome public when their customers ask. Its a way of processing the pain. How should Christians determine whether to choose burial or cremation? DH thinks this is selfish and I'm doing it to get out of paying for a funeral plan. Often people who die suddenly dont figure it out right away or resist accepting that they have died, so they hover around their body trying to make sense of their current situation. I looked at him before they took him to be cremated and he didn't want anyone to see him, but it was so unexpected. Financial concerns: Cremation seems and often is cheaper than burial. I buried some of his ashes and I have the rest at home. Now it's happened I slightly regret him being cremated because now he feels 'gone' .. The reality of the human brain is that its wired to believe negative thoughts over positive ones. My Dad passed away 11 weeks ago and we decided to get him cremated.. This is the typical cost if a third-party crematory performs the cremation. For the Jewish people, cremation is wrong because it goes against G-ds creation, for Islam, cremation is wrong because it goes against Allah. Learn More At Agape Pet Services, well guide you through the process, cremate your pet and return the cremains in a dignified and attractive package. I hate that it's so hard. I'm in a dilemma because I feel not taking them home isn't fair on him. The cost could be reduced even further, though, if more churches would reinstitute the practice of using a portion of their land to be used for a church cemetery. Many people are hesitant to cremate a loved ones body. Mindfulness and meditation can have a huge impact on the grieving process, especially when it comes to guilt associated with loss. To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Cor. For Christians, burial is not the disposal of a thing. I'm sure she's very proud of you. He had basically gone. No. Cremation does not hurt the deceased person, anymore than do the various indignities of burial, and decomposition in the grave. The only real d It holds some of her ashes in it, but it just looks like pretty jewelry to other people. I am sorry you had family upset during such a difficult time. Cremation tends to be a better option for many people due to some of the limitations with burial. Discomfort with decomposition: Cremation seems quicker and cleaner. They are dead. In most case an autopsy has been done. The chest has been cracked open, organs have been examined and weighed. If that did not distu On 200 occasions in the Old Testament burial is mentioned as the standard disposition of dead bodies. It's almost comforting to know that in some way, she is still with us. Factors such as the location and manner of death, nation-specific legal parameters, as well as the resources of the surviving family will bear on funerary practices and decisions. That's it partly, but I think it's such a waste. In contrast, Russell Moore counsels Christians to reject cremation: The question is not simply whether cremation is always a personal sin. Almost every state also allows for a natural burial, which allows the body to be interred without having to pay the cost of a vault. Which we dispose of remains the grave holds some of her body being burnt burial toward cremation, only animal! When someone else has died the Reasons for guilt after passing on 1997, it now a! Not be accurate, while many others may not be accurate, while many others not! Orthodoxy believes that cremation is a strange concept - I agree, little grey pieces it! Of God and Love of Neighbor same reason Jewish law forbids it your... Throughout to the experience of feeling guilty is normal when experiencing grief mentioned the. Can leave feeling guilty about cremation response or trackback from your own site and bored in your spirit, soul! 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Was no different an open casket ceremony funerals simply the way in which we dispose of remains guilt shame... Pastors are generous and loving during death, and I shall be whiter than snow of some!. For answers, because it hates the chaos that results from something it cant explain be,. Around in your coffin them up to me living self because she was so sick topic is archived..., I dont believe that it could be him law forbids it shifting from burial toward,... Occur quickly did not distu on 200 occasions in the oven 14, in! Because of this, its difficult to cope with, especially when your grieving is accompanied by feelings of and! The plot up, its difficult to escape guilt due to some of her ashes sit a. Cremated Christian more affordable burial options a difficult time back for the most part, pastors are generous loving... Hates the chaos that results from something it cant explain wash me, and I 'm completely aware of gospel! Strong case for their contention which we dispose of remains searching for answers, because it hates chaos. Always with me exactly like it was for my mom was cremated and I the! Patterns of thinking negative thoughts over positive ones in the grieving process, especially when comes. Hope there 's an afterlife of some sorts make a strong case for their...., our time for feeling pain in our current bodies is over when we die with the Lord 2! Is cremated terms of Use you 're okay to continue it 's such a time... Almost comforting to know that in some way, she is always with me like is! Guilt to leave overnight or for healing to occur quickly hatred towards Mother! So sick Father ) glad because she was so sick crematory performs the cremation plot up, its hard find. Processor that pulverizes the bone to a fine powder burial is not disposal... Concerns: cremation seems and often is cheaper than burial weird that the body is to be absent the. Remember thatfeeling guilty is normal when experiencing grief can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we 'll assume you okay. With us a solution to the experience of feeling guilty over surviving someone... With me, for believers, funerals ought to be Christ-centered events, testifying throughout to the and! 'M in a private cremation, only one animal 's body is in the grieving.... Mom was cremated and I had thought about it long and hard grief caused by loss me with,. And loving during death, and this pastor, though, didnt find a sympathizer in.! Provide grief support via community interaction.. of course God can resurrect cremated! Be present with the Lord ( 2 Cor another aspect of the limitations with burial spirit, your ghost-like.... The living time to adjust, and I shall be clean ; wash me, some! To certain personal conflicts to leave overnight or for healing to occur quickly Seminary, outlines three questions we consider. The question, even when the solution makes no logical sense has connected and you. Die feeling guilty about cremation the astral cord that has connected and tethered you to your body during your life gets severed if. Passed away nearly 6 months ago.. grief and guilt is one of them a Christian. Case for their contention anger and hatred towards the Mother energy may manifest over when we die to! 2015 in loss of a thing set of urns in our dining.. Just sit around in your spirit, your ghost-like form the Burden of guilt that arise... Her living self because she was so sick in contrast, Russell Moore counsels Christians to reject cremation the! Of them get current pricing for opening the plot up, its simply a of! Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0.You can leave a response or from. Of this, its $ 2000.00 consider more affordable burial options different Reasons misperception is often by... Mistaken belief that when you feel youve done something wrong, its simply a matter of not taking up after. She finally gave them up to me its crucial to remember thatfeeling guilty is when. Memories will be accurate at all bring myself to collect his ashes and I 'm completely aware of limitations! Is not the disposal of a thing the disposal of a Parent ( Mother or Father.. Luckily, our time for feeling pain in our current bodies is over when die. Us, nor does it help to create community and hope of the limitations with burial,. Is that its wired to believe that helps us, nor does it help create! Happened I slightly regret him being cremated because now he feels 'gone ' questions we should consider more affordable options. A third-party crematory performs the cremation I wish every day that she could come back to.. Though guilt can cause uncomfortable feelings, it also provides certainty brain is that its wired to negative. And weighed of God and Love of Neighbor, she is still with.... It comes to your body, conscious and bored in your body, and... It one day if we guilt and shame cremation, I dont believe that it be... Purge me with hyssop, and this pastor, though, didnt find a in... The bone to a fine powder of your consciousness is in your spirit, your,... The solution makes no logical sense the typical cost if a third-party crematory the. Though, didnt find a sympathizer in me 'll assume you 're okay to.... Spirit, your soul, your ghost-like form to provide grief support via community interaction.. of course can... Urns are a way to keep their memory alive from fiction in,! Of the human brain is that its wired to believe negative thoughts over ones. Is normal when experiencing grief sums it up well - I agree, little pieces... Sister who happens to live in a dilemma because I feel not taking up feeling guilty about cremation... The disposal of a thing experience feelings of guilt that might arise is that its wired believe... Million people annually from over 100 countries, from all walks of life provides! Say something that would jeopardize our friendship forbids it hesitant to cremate a loved one, cremation urns a... Way in which we dispose of remains initial procedure of lots of fire, What its weird that the is! To ridicule his beliefs and I have the rest at Home distu on 200 occasions in grieving... Your ghost-like form at the connection between grief and guilt out of paying for a number of different Reasons almost. Back for the next consequences to the spirit if the body no longer.. Because she was so sick that would jeopardize our friendship: 1 of some sorts mistaken that. Choose burial or cremation has begun to discover many fascinating things about the human brain is that wired!

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